Just some thoughts...

“Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner”

This quote speaks dearly to me, I would say for the past year of my life I have been attempting to come in to terms with it, while at the same time come in to terms with myself. Who I am always, who I am presently, and who Ill become. I feel that it is very easy for a person to say that they do not care what people think of them, and once upon a time I did not care what people thought of me, or so I thought. But I think deep down I did care, I did. Which was undoubtedly a demon of mine. Now when I say demon I do not mean like...one of Satan's minions. I mean something that is an enemy, something that is evil, something that stops us from being our whole complete person. And I suppose if demons are real (speaking superstitiously) they do encompass all of those traits. But this demon, doubt was my own demon that I created, that I am the master of. And only I can eradicate, as once sang beautifully because it is so true, sometimes the "demons in us are the best of friends from the start." We allow them to suffocate us, to weigh us down, to hurt us and the ones we love. We allow this, or I've allowed this because I have some sick strange affection towards this pain, even though my life would be better free of it I allow it to stick around. Alas that is a subject that could run as long as the sea is deep and cold. So as I was saying even though I thought I was free from the shackles of everyone else, I was lying to myself. The only way I can describe who I was then as compared to now is to compare it to an animal who was once granted to roam in a field of space, and beauty that was unbeknownst to me gated. I had just never ventured that far so I did not know there were set limitations. Whereas now I feel as if I am tied to a leash. And I can not figure out which is worst; being obscure to this fault or having it slap me in the face crudely (I mean is there any other way) with a sign that reads in big bold print NEWSFLASH!

Whatever the case may be, I am so sick of it! It is disgusting and when I think of it...the opinions I have of others are stupid, and half the time I dont even think of others. I think in some way we are all shallow, and I mean this in a way that we care what others think of us. What makes us so self centered that we even think people are so devoid of everything going on in the world to spend their time thinking of all of our faults.

Excuse me as my thoughts fluctuate...what I wanted to get at is that, we're all hurting, we are all yearning...to be accepted, wanted, loved, touched...ackwowleged. And I htink that if we werent so hard on one another and ourselves we would see how easy it is to love each other and to forget what people think of us. Lao Tzu said it right “Care about people's approval and you will be their prisoner." If we care about others approval arent we subsequently living a life for them? Why not live a life for ourselves? That is what we are here for, to be happy, to spread love and joy and to do good for everything around us including ourselves.

I dont want to care what people think about me, but at the same time I dont want that badass "fuck you" type of attitude. I think the only way to do this is too just accept me for me, with no limitations of barriers, to feel sad for anyone who has the immorality to judge me knowing the dirt that lies caked on their hands.

Im going to try to live the purest life I can, devoid of hate and dislike, filled with love and dare I say it kisses!! Not physical kisses, but an act that is that of a kiss that touches the soul and cleans it.

I hope this all works out. And although this was not a face mask or a scrub it is a beauty post. The purest clean and nurturng act you could ever give to yourself. To love, to accept, and to not be tied down to what others think of you.
Best wishes to you all, if you're reading this and you understand what I'm saying, and what Ive said is limited because my words are limited compared to what my heart and soul feel because there is no language for what I feel inside. Try your hardest to be you, because you're unique and though you've made mistakes you'll always know who you are and what greatness and goodness pulses through you.